As many of you know, my husband lost his job last February. He was called back to work in the middle of May through the first of August. During this time he was in Las Vegas....so very far from our family. It was not our favorite experience. But, it wasn't our worst either. When the job was completed he was again laid off and we knew then that it would be final. Really scary stuff for us. You see, my sweetie and I are not a couple of young kids anymore. We are what most of you would consider.....OLD. We have 11 kids, with 5 of those precious souls still at home. Dependent on US. I didn't think this out very well when I was starting out this whole big family thing. I wouldn't have changed anything...just maybe I wouldn't have been so surprised when I realized at 52 that when my 7 year old goes on his mission I will be really, really old! Anyway, we realized that at our advanced age (even though we are both so young looking and full of life and energy, giggle, giggle) we are having to start over financially. A scary feeling. My sweetie was able to find a job driving tractor for my daughter's father in law from October until the end of December. It didn't pay enough to even make our mortgage payment. So we didn't. A first in our marriage. We have always paid our bills and had good credit even though we have never had very much money. Yet always enough to meet our needs. Not the wants so much, just the needs. That in itself is such a blessing but that's for another day. When the tractor job ended at the end of the cotton rooding season, we were without any income for a month. He is now working with a man who asked him to come and work in his used appliance warehouse as a supervisor. Still not paying much. $10.00 an hour to start. Scary. But yet, I am so very grateful that he has work. And work that he enjoys. Work that is right up his alley. Work that is blessing to our family. I have seen a pattern in our 32 years of marriage. Heavenly Father has always provided manna to our family. Right at the time of our need, not a minute sooner, not a minute later, the blessing comes. Not always what I would have arranged if I had been the master planner but just what our family needed for our journey on this earth. Now our house is in foreclosure with an auction date of April 21st. When I received that news it knocked me down for a minute. Well, probably longer than that! But as scary as the thought is of losing our home that we built 10 years ago and have had so many precious and sacred experiences in, I know that I must choose to have faith rather fear. It is a choice. As I read other blogs written by women who have faced experiences that would break your heart and find myself lifted up by their words, their testimonies of the words of the prophets, the words of the Savior, the words of our Father,I say to myself "all is well". These experiences will be for our good. For the good of my children. I want to stay here in this home that is filled with us...our living...our experiences. I want to stay in this ward that is home to me. Sharing my daily life with friends who I love so much. And who know and love me. I pray that we will be able to stay here. But more than anything, I pray that I can face this new adventure with a calm spirit, a joyful spirit. I want my children to experience faith in adversity.
Orson F. Whitney said: "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering , toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and mother in heaven. "
Oh, how I pray that I might be what Father would have me be.
